Defective Piece!

Someone who shares the same flesh and blood as I do was called a "defective piece" by her in laws and husband for having 2 back-to-back miscarriages. How do you react to something like this?? I have been seething after getting to know about this. I wish I could just shoot their fucking brains off.

The reason why I have been AWOL

It has been a long time since I updated my blog. I would like to blame it partly on laziness, our move, my work and of course the best excuse - my pregnancy!!
We are getting ready to welcome a new member into our family in June, I will step into my 7th month in a week's time. My daughter is very excited that soon she will have a baby to play with.

We put our current home up for rent and moved to our new home, so the moving and packing took up a lot of my time. My old home will always be special as this was the first home that G and I bought 10 years ago. We found a nice indian family who will be renting our place, they are both doctors, so the good thing is that, the rent will always be on time :). I cried like a baby on the day we moved. I am a very emotional person that way, G on the other hand is very practical and he says it is good to think about the great memories that we had in this home and move on to the new one. We will put our old home up for sale once the market improves. I do love our new community and the best part of my new home is that I can always see deer grazing at my back yard :). My daughter's new school is literally a stone's throw away. I will post the pics of our new home once we settle down, until then Ciao!

We found Bhargavi

I did a post on my cousin Bhargavi's abduction three months ago. My mom said that she was hearing all kinds of rumours, somebody mentioned that she had eloped with the local MLA's son, another mentioned that she was abducted by a bunch of thugs, some body else mentioned seeing her in Mumbai. Nevertheless, all this had a terrible effect on Bhargavi's family. I was moved by her family's plight and vowed to do something about it. I sought my husband's help and he wholeheartedly supported me in this effort.

I contacted Capt.J who happens to be the MD of a leading detective agency based in Koramangala - Bangalore, this company was my client when I was involved in marketing e-commerce solutions 9 years ago. I was pleasantly surprised to know that he still remembered me, I explained the entire situation to him and gave him the details of my cousin, my mom gave him Bhargavi's recent pictures. He assured me that he would look into it and asked me for a week's time to investigate this matter. It got very busy on the work front and I was busy traveling and attending training seminars and it missed my mind that I was supposed to follow-up after a week with Capt.J. 2 months ago, I got back from work, finished the necessary drill (cook, put my daughter A to sleep, clean the kitchen) and went to bed. I was woken up by a phone call at 12-45 a.m, it turned out to be from Capt. J, the line was not clear and he hung up twice. Now I started getting worried and had already made up my mind about Bhargavi's fate, I got up and kept praying, sleep just eluded me. Capt. J called me again at 1:30 am, this time the line was clear and he started off by telling me " I have good news for you", I heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing that. He started telling me all about it, Bhargavi was in love with the local MLA's son, he happens to be from a different religion, Bhargavi's parents had come to know about this and had tried their best to dissuade her, no amount of coaxing or emotional blackmailing seemed to work. They even went to the extent of beating her up and keeping her under "house arrest". Fed up of all this, Bhargavi and her boyfriend hatched a plan to elope and make it seem like a kidnapping incident. Their efforts seemed to be paid off as most of them did believe that she was kidnapped. The cops however had their own theories (!), they were right all along (for a change), they just said it was an open and shut case of elopement and they wouldn't and couldn't do anything about it.
I was a bit mad at Bhargavi's parents for not disclosing any info about her affair, at least it would have put my mind to rest. I was also not happy about Bhargavi's irresponsible attitude, but I don't think I have a right to judge her or her parents. I was only concerned about her safety, that is all.

Bhargavi is happily married now and living with her husband's family, she has plans to complete her BA via correspondence. She called me 2 weeks ago and apologized for what she did, she also said that she loved her husband very much and that they both grew up together and she couldn't imagine not being with him. She also mentioned to me that her parents were on the verge of finalizing her marriage with another guy and they were getting ready to whisk her off to the neighboring town and get her married forcibly. She couldn't think of any other options, so she had to take this extreme step.

Any way, I am glad that she is happy and that is what matters to me the most.

This is what is happening on our end..

It has been a long time since I blogged, lot of things have happened in the last 2 months. For starters we embarked on a major home remodeling project, as of now we got granite counter tops for the kitchen, added a flair (tiles to the wall), got wooden flooring for living room, changed our blinds. We still have a long way to go, as we are planning on getting a new staircase, and of course, we need to remodel our 4 bathrooms, and paint the whole house (phew). G and I bought this house 9 years ago, we couldn't really afford any fancy options as G got laid off immediately after we signed our contractual papers, so we ended up with bare minimum options. One of the major resolutions for this year has been to clear out the clutter and remodel our house, which we are achieving at a steady pace. We donated 3 sacks of clothes, 2 sacks of shoes, all of them in pristine condition mind you.

I have taken up a certification in my line of work and that pretty much takes up most of my time in the evening. Our little one caught the stomach bug and promptly passed it on to mommy, so I am down with high fever, this illness has tired me out so bad that I can't even stand or walk in a steady manner. G is taking care of both of us, he is cooking for us and ordering food every now and then. I have taken time off from work for the last 2 days. My team is so dependent on me that they have ended up rescheduling all my meetings :(, just when I thought that I could get a real break from my work!

I would like to end this post by congratulating fellow blogger and friend orchid for purchasing a new home. Orchie, it is a lot of fun doing up your new house. Hearty congratulations to you, Uj and little A.

Thanksgiving holiday

We had a lovely thanksgiving weekend. Here is what we did for the last 3 days:
On the D-day (Nov 22nd) I woke up at 6 am and made aloo and carrot paranthas and spicy coriander chutney, packed some pickle, water, fruits and cereal bars. Woke hubby and my daughter with great difficulty, when one of them was getting ready to wake up the other would go back to sleep and vice versa.

We left Virginia at 10-55 am (scheduled departure was 8 o clock, but 11 is GST (DH standard time). I decided to get behind the wheel for the first 3 hours and then hand the car over to DH. We drove for 2 hours and decided to break for lunch at one of the rest areas at Maryland. The surroundings around the rest area looked so beautiful; there was this constant drizzle of yellow, orange and maroon leaves from the trees which gave a very ethereal effect to that place. We had our lunch and drove some more. We passed Maryland, Pennsylvania and Ohio. When we reached Ohio, it started to snow badly, that is when DH got behind the wheel as he has lived in Buffalo for 2 years and has driven in really bad weather conditions. We made sure to pack a lot of toys for my daughter and believe me that really helped.

We reached Detroit at 10 p.m, daughter was very excited as she was visiting her friend R’s house. R is a 3 and a half year old boy and he usually goes to bed at 9, he managed to stay awake all along to welcome his pal A (my daughter). The moment we reached our friend’s place, my daughter started running near the door and her friend R was there ready to hug her, I was amazed at this, my daughter and R have never seen each other, they may have chatted over the phone 4-5 times in the last 3 months or so and they were behaving like long lost friends. They also excitedly exchanged their gifts. A got a cute Dora story book, this has voice over capabilities and it comes with 3 cartridges and 4 story books, A was super thrilled. A gifted R a Spider man laptop and he fell in love with that. What is with boys and super heroes??

Our friends V and S welcomed us into their beautiful home. S had made lovely spinach rasam, veggie curry, chapattis, and onion sambhar. We polished our plates in no time as the food was absolutely delicious. Then, we started chatting while the kids got busy playing. By the time we decided to call it a day, it was 12-30 am. The next morning S made lip smacking masala dosas and a special chutney which is famous in Chitradurga. I made sure to get the recipe from her. After hogging to our heart’s content, the boys (hubby and his pal V) went out for a drive to have some guy talk and S and myself had a nice time gossiping about our lives and families and of course the In-laws/Out-laws.

By 2-30 pm, we packed our stuff and were getting ready to leave, when little R started crying; he put on his jacket and shoes and held on to my daughter. He kept saying that he wanted to come with us. It broke my heart to see him cry, my daughter kept asking me “mommy can we take R with us please” with those big pleading saucer like eyes. I had to take her aside and explain to her that we can come some other time and visit R or he could come visit us in summer. She agreed reluctantly. We reached the Canada-US border in 20 mins and immigration formalities were a breeze. By the time we reached Canada it was 3 pm. DH’s uncle and aunt (aunty) welcomed us into their home. Aunty and A instantly took to one another. They were inseparable for the next 3 days or so. Aunty became A’s Santa Claus, she took her to Toys r us and bought her a huge load of toys. She also insisted on feeding my daughter and also told her lots of stories and sang many songs. Uncle is a little more introvert, but A made sure that he also played with her. He sat still while A combed his hair with a teeny weenie Barbie comb. Aunty made so many lovely dishes for us; she didn’t let me enter the kitchen even once. Every time I insisted, she said “I want to give you a break, will your mom let you work when you visit her? Consider this also as your mom’s place (thavaru mane) and just sit by my side and talk to me. They stay in a huge 9 bedroom single family home; it has been beautifully decorated by aunty. Uncle and I watched Chak de India and thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Uncle and I are very much alike, we loved to dissect and critic the movie’s every single scene. We also savored mouth watering samosas, bhel puri and Pani Puri which were delivered by a gujarathi lady who lives very close to their home. Aunty and I had a long chat about our lives, about being away from the family and living abroad, about raising kids here (US and Canada). It felt very good to talk to her. She is a very nice lady who has always been affectionate towards me. Every time we visit them, she begs and pleads me to move to Canada, I know that it is impossible as we are planning on moving back to Bangalore for good in the next 3 years.

We also went to this place called Colasanti’s, this is a nursery farm, plus a mini-zoo all rolled into one. Aunty packed upma, chapattis (50), Obbattus, Chaklis for us to take back home. I even joked with her saying that in olden days, when a girl visited her mom’s place they would send back all these goodies back with her, it felt the same in my case, to which she replied that this was my mom’s place. Aunty also said that she lost her mom at a very young age and she never did experience all this, but she wanted me to enjoy this experience. I was really moved by this. She gifted me a beautiful teal colored saree with zardosi work; DH got an ipod, daughter A got 5 sets of toys. On the day of our departure, my daughter just wouldn’t let go of my aunty’s hand, she kept asking aunty and uncle to put on their jackets and shoes. We had a tough time convincing her that aunty and uncle will come and visit us later, my daughter asked if they will come “tomorrow”, we said yes, after which she calmed down. We bid a tearful goodbye, with promises to visit each other at least once in 4-5 months. We stopped at Pittsburgh temple on our way back and had our dinner of tamarind and yogurt rice with yummy pickle. We reached home at 12 am; I worked from home the next day and went back to work today. All in all this was a very satisfying trip; it was a bit taxing physically, but well worth it.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! We (DH, my daughter and I) are driving down to Canada tomorrow; it is a 9 hour drive. We are keeping our fingers crossed as this is our first long distance drive with our toddler. We have been invited by hubby's uncle and aunt who are settled in Canada for about 35 years, they can't wait to meet their grand daughter. So what are you all doing on thanksgiving? Drop a line or two about your plans.

I have some news about Bhargavi; will share with you all once I get back.

Taking credit for other's work

We have all come across situations wherein somebody takes credit for something that he or she has not done. Infact not just at work, but also within your own home you come across such situations. Here are 2 situations that I came across in the recent months:

Situation 1: The Inlaws/Outlaws house at Bangalore
One of the days when we were vacationing in Bangalore, my MIL asked her loving son as to what he was craving to eat, her son duly said rava idly and sagoo. My MIL said she will ask her daughter (my SIL) to make the sagoo as she makes the best sagoo in the whole world. I pitched in to help, I cut the onions, cut and peeled the potatoes and cooked them in the pressure cooker. I also dry roasted and ground the ingredients. My MIL did the tadka/seasoning and added the ground paste and the potatoes and let it cook for some time, my SIL who had vanished into her room came by then and stirred it a little bit and tasted it and said it tastes great. My MIL asked her son how it tasted and he said S's sagoo is indeed the best (!). To this day I tease hubby every time he asks me to make S's sagoo. I ask him "you mean the sagoo where in I cut the onions, I cooked the potatoes, I roasted and ground the masala and your mom did the tadka, that sagoo right?".

Situation 2: My Company
I am leading the process improvement functions for some of the products within the company and recently I implemented many initiatives within my group, as a result of which the performance of some of the product lines has gone up to a great extent. My Director who also happens to be an indian got very insecure because of the praise I was getting from other business leads. I was supposed to meet with the COO to submit my recommendations on a bunch of initiatives that we were planning to execute in UK and Singapore, my Director scheduled the meeting and conveniently "forgot" to include me in the invite. She went ahead and presented my recommendations. I had a feeling something like this would happen so I "conveniently" forgot to add the data justification slides to the presentation deck. As a result of which she was left in a lurch and she had no choice but call me in the middle of the presentation to answer the questions that the COO had asked. Finally at the end of the meeting my COO was convinced that it was I who had developed the deck and not my Director. I feel bad doing this, but I couldn't think of any other alternative. I am pretty sure now she will be very careful movign forward. The other good thing is that I have been asked to lead another team within the same company so I will no longer be interacting with this mean attention craving Director.